“We do this work to break generational trauma chains.”
An enmeshed relationship means you feels guilty and responsible for the well being of a parent, spouse or child at the cost of your own needs, wants and desires. This is often at the cost of another close relationship, especially a partner. Learning to recognize and build a separate life while still loving and caring for another is possible.
Michelle works closely with, and has been trained by Dr. Ken Adams as a Preferred Provider, to recognize and treat enmeshment and heal close relationships.
Although boys can become enmeshed with either mother or father, typically, boys become enmeshed with their mothers. He likely does not recognize that his needs and wants have merged with hers.
He may feel burdened, smothered, infantilized, guilty and disloyal to his mother. He does not recognize he has played the role of a surrogate, emotional companion for his mother.
Common indications of an enmeshed man may include:
Spouse feels “second fiddle” to parent
Caretaking of parent becomes central to his identity
Unable to make or keep male friendships, but has many female friends
Choosing a romantic partner that does not threaten the relationship with the parent
Sexually shut down or avoidant, commitment issues in relationships
Immature, teenage identity needing to caretake or needing to be taken care of
Compulsive sexual behaviors or other addictions as a way to express resentment
Choosing a career to please a parent
Overcompensation at work to avoid feelings of disappointment
It is possible to break free of these feelings and traits and love your parent. There is hope.